Alive but not living!

Sometimes alive doesn’t mean living, you could be dead inside and can still be alive.

Sometimes being alive gets Soo tiring, the only way you can see is dying in every way.

Sometimes people choose to die rather than to keep on living, some people call it easy way out or being coward.

I believe it’s being brave, brave enough to make a choice, brave enough to go through your choices.

Sometimes no amount of love or caring can replace the darkness inside you, they say make happy memories, what if the happy memories just hurt so much more?

Sometimes you just think about the people you love more, than yourself, when there is Soo much darkness inside of you, you do what’s good for them, you forget to think about you, because the only thing that matter at that time is the people you love, you do what’s good for them.

Sometimes you can’t help someone, they must be far gone by the time you decide to help and it’s not your fault.

Sometimes we push someone to get help, but it doesn’t work like that.

Sometimes a simple push, can make them delve into the darkness, till the person is disappeared.

Darkness…

Darkness surrounds me when everything comes back, the flashbacks especially and i scream as the hands comes closer and when i hear the evil laughter, i scream so loud but NO, i can’t even hear my own voice.

All i can hear is the laughter, people laughing at me and i break down falling to my knees, cradling my face in my hands and tears streaming down my cheeks.

And Iam scared just scared of everything, every touch every noise just makes me shiver and gives me the eerie kind of cold.

It’s been years and i wonder when will i ever get over this, when will i ever be safe and when will i ever be able to find peace.