Darkness lives inside us…

People thought she had the most beautiful smile, a smile that could brighten up anyone’s day.

But of course they never noticed her eyes, those dark lifeless eyes.

she always wondered why people never saw the darkness hiding behind her eyes, the darkness that she hides behind her beautiful smiles, the darkness she barely have control on.

At nights she feel uncomfortable in her own skin. There is this evil darkness inside of her that threatens to crawl out of her but she wouldn’t let it come outside.

She won’t let the darkness crawl out of her because it would destroy the people she love and she would rather die than let that happen.

So she lays in bed curled in to a ball with teary eyes, struggling with the evil inside of her.

Pain…

I could feel the Ray’s of sunlight hitting my skin, it’s time to wake up. I sat upright in my bed, people say that the sunlight freshens you and give you the morning vibes but not for me.

Iam so used to the darkness that sunlight felt like a nuisance.

Then I hear her voice Calling me, how much I hate everything about her. But it doesn’t matter even if I hate my family, I have to play this role until iam no more.

Then I do the saddest thing I could ever do, I smile and get in to the role doing all my duties as a good daughter.

Until it’s night again when I retire to my room alone, sitting on the edge of my bed and the smile slowly fading and a frown taking it’s place and Wondering what iam doing and I remember how fucked up life is…

That’s when the worst things happen the urge to feel the pain.When you get addicted to pain there is little way out.

The physical pain is just addictive that sometimes you just have to even if you don’t want to.

Expectations…dark place!

Expectations, now that’s a dark place to be. People expect things from you.

Like my parents expected me to bring home gold medals every year, and there was a time I did that even though it never gave me a speck of happiness.

Caring about other people’s expectations can really fuck you up. The place iam right now, I wish no one has to go through it.

Sometimes you just have to try breaking these walls called expectations. But no you cannot never fully break through it, you will just end up bruised.

This place is really dark, so dark that I don’t know were iam going and one day they are going to push me a little too hard and iam going to fall of this mountain Called expectation and this Time no one will be able to save me.